I came, I saw, I conquered and I partied sober bitches.

Ever been out clubbing sober?

I have been out in the last month or so twice and I did not drink or take drugs.

 

The first night out was in a dingy “club” in Gosport where dreams come to die. It’s called ‘Emma’s’. Don’t go.

Anyway, I went out with my aunty who loves a good night out when she’s not being a full time mum to her two young children. Despite not being too bothered whether my aunty drank alcohol, we decided to both be sober. Firstly, we headed to a pub and we bought an energy drink. In fact, we had two energy drinks and sang our hearts out to Christina Aguilera’s Dirrrrrty! After a while, we headed to the local club. This is where it gets interesting.

So to set the scene:

Sticky floors, bad disco lights, a wall to wall packed sweaty room with the ratio of men being way higher than women. Everyone was absolutely wasted. In all honesty, you have to be to go there. I looked around the room and saw the usual faces. Nevertheless, make the best out of a bad situation. We danced, we sang, we were given blackcurrant squash for free and then we left. We got a subway, got a taxi, went to bed and woke up happy and hangover-less. Fabulous.

The second time I went out sober was Saturday night. However, this was with my best friend of over 10 years and we grew up together discovering alcohol, trying alcohol, abusing alcohol and basically partying for a really long time. So to go out with my best friend sober was absolutely terrifying. It made me miss the old times and for a minute, it made me question my choices. But I knew that my best friend supported my decision. I would be mad if I had a drink and it wasn’t worth ruining 5 weeks of sobriety for a couple of hours losing my mind.

We got dressed up whilst dancing to Beyonce and we headed out for town. We went to a pub which played the most awesome throwback tunes and we sang our hearts out whilst awkwardly dancing sat down. I had a tropical redbull and my friend had a double vodka and lemonade. Buzzing.

We had three rounds and then left for Revenge; possibly my favourite club in Brighton. Full of straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transexual, you name it. There is no judgement in revenge and the music is as fabulous as the drag queen walking around in 6 inch heels.

The music was just what we wanted and what we needed. Cheesy throwback pop tunes to fill you with empowering thoughts and happy memories. We danced for a long time and had another 2 rounds in the club. Then around 2am, which is early for drunk people but late for sober people, we headed out to get food. We got a subway, jumped on the bus and headed home. We woke up the next day, got up and spent the day looking around Brighton and enjoying the day. It was such a good weekend!

I have to say that these are the only two nights that I can honestly say I have enjoyed. There is a 90% chance of waking up in the morning after an alcohol infused night out and regretting it. I can’t remember the last time I went out drinking and truly enjoyed myself and these two times, I had a blast.

So here are a few things I have learnt from partying sober:

• Clubs are hunting grounds. Guys tend to stand around the edges watching the girls dancing and getting more drunk. Taking off your beer goggles and watch! It’s fascinating.
• Alcohol really does make people more attractive. Self explanatory really.
• Drinks are either free or pennies if it is not alcoholic. This is my favourite.
• It doesn’t really matter what you look like, it matters how drunk you are. The girls who were more wasted looked more vulnerable and there were approached by the most guys.
• You can still ‘break the seal’. I don’t know if it was the amount of water and red bull I was drinking but damn, I still needed the toilet a lot.
•  No one notices if you are sober which is great if you are worried about being judged.
• Your make-up and hair still looks great at the end of the night. Always great for selfies!
• You are less likely to fall over, cry, break something. Normally, I lose things and come home with multiple bruises. The last two nights that I had went out, I came back in one piece with all of my belongings.
• The whole night is cheap. One night cost me £11. This included three drinks, club entry and money towards the taxi back.
• YOU CAN STILL HAVE FUN.

Basically, I loved it. I can enjoy life without alcohol and to finally be able to do that feels fantastic! A weight has been lifted. So, if you were cautious of drunk kelly, get ready for sober kelly ’cause I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly!

 

 

Trust your instinct and never settle for less!

Love.

Love can be amazing, beautiful, colourful, inspirational… It can also be painful, regrettable, soul destroying, emotional.

But in life, you have to take risks even if you know that in the end, and theres always an end, that it can bring you a lot of pain.

I’m sure like me, you’ve had relationships which felt like whirlwinds. You didn’t know if you were coming or going. A mix between Katy Perry’s ‘Hot n Cold’ and Taylor Swift’s ‘Out of the Woods’ – Even those two hate each other. How ironic. 

And the relationship eventually ends with feelings of frustration, anger, hatred, jealousy and spite but at least you feel something.

Have you even been in a relationship where it has just fizzled out? Where your best friend is just someone you pass on the street? I think sometimes, this can be even more of a test.

What are you supposed to do when you feel nothing. Spending a year and a half in a relationship with someone and it’s been an amazing relationship to suddenly growing apart and having nothing in common. IT IS THE WEIRDEST FEELING!

And then the range of emotions come…

Anger … but with yourself. How did this happen?

Frustration … but he is such a good person and nothing bad happened so why did this happen?

Failure… way to go, you couldn’t even keep a good one!

Disappointment… I thought I’d done the bad boy thing, found a good guy and this was it…

and the vicious cycle of emotions keep on spinning.

Until…

YOU PUT YOUR BIG GIRL PANTS ON, LISTEN TO BEYONCE AND REALISE YOU ARE SINGLE BECAUSE YOU CHOSE TO BE.

Sometimes people cannot come up to your level and sometimes, no matter how amazing they are, you cannot settle for less. My ambition, drive and independence can sometimes be a curse but it is time to see it as something to be proud of.

In the last 7 years, I have had 4 long term boyfriends. Some treated me like a princess and some treated me like a trophy and some treated me like a doormat. I was loved and I was lost. But each time, I have walked away. You know that feeling in your stomach that you get when things aren’t right? TRUST IT. 

Trust your instinct and NEVER settle for less.

So here I am, Single again and by choice. I have cried and I have smiled and now, I am accepting that this is my summer of single and I am on to bigger and better things.