Dreams of a drunken relapse

Recently, I keep having dreams of drinking.

Awake, I’m rarely tempted to drink and when I am tempted, I feel strong enough to say no. However, when I’m asleep, I seem to say yes.

I keep having reoccurring dreams of being in an environment where there is alcohol and I have one drink. Suddenly, I feel really drunk and I go into ‘Fuck it’ mode and continue drinking. I end up drunk, not necessarily making any bad decisions but I still feel guilty. People approach me and seem shocked that I’m drinking and that makes me feel like a failure. Also, I am suddenly surrounded by people who are no good for me. People who drink a lot, take drugs, have no ambition, no loyalty, no life.

I wake up feeling sick but I have instant relief that the dream that felt so real was just a dream.

I’ve always been a vivid dreamer and I had no doubts of having dreams like this. I dreamt about drinking when I first became sober but those dreams slowly stopped.

Now, they’re back.

I’m guessing this is because I’m happy. I’m very happy. Is it a way of testing myself?

Either way, it’s not happening. Not yet anyway.

3 months sober bitches!

3

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One comment

  1. Renee Coombs · March 18, 2015

    Proud of you xxx yes youre testing yourself and its testing your fear and the relief you feel is real on waking because you dont want your hard work to be for nothing xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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