The One That Got Away…

This post contains swearing, anger and a happy ending.

I’m angry and I feel like I shouldn’t be. This makes me more angry.

Living in a crappy town, people talk a lot. I’m far from interested in what traitors and ex boyfriends are up to but when I hear some things, I can’t help but feel my blood boil.

I really have chosen some awful ex boyfriends. 


One of my ex’s was my best friend. When we got together, I was drinking heavily and severely depressed due to life changing incidents that had recently occurred. He introduced me to drugs and a whole different world that I hate. My weekends contained of sitting in dingy bedrooms or smelly flats when we would get drunk and he would justify drug taking. I left him because he was selfish and I am not a druggy and I don’t want to be associated with people like that or that lifestyle.

Fucking pisses me off.


My last ex. Well he was an upgrade, or so I thought because he had a job and a license (despite being banned for two years for drink driving… good one kelly). He was older and I just assumed he would be more mature. I was so wrong. Little did I know that his life a year or so before he met me was five letters. DRUGS. FUCK SAKE KELLY WHY DIDN’T YOU WAKE UP THEN. He was no way ready for a relationship despite being older than me and when drugs came back into the picture, my life turned upside down again. He was addicted, controlling, paranoid, a liar and a cheater. Everything I thought he wasn’t. How could I love someone so ugly?

To hear that my ex is hanging around with drug taking low lives who have just come out of prison is really fucking nice. I don’t care about him. I did that for too long and all it did was break me down whilst boosting his ego. No. I care about myself. I really don’t want to be known as his ex girlfriend. 

know me

I think the main reason I am angry is because I spent so much invested in people that meant a great deal to me and all they did was let me down. In fact, they didn’t just let me down, they royally fucked my life over. I can’t completely blame them, it was my choice to be involved but why did it take me so long to wake up? I spent so much time fighting for these relationships. Whenever I talk to my ex, he tells me about his plans of going on holiday or about his car or about whatever appears shiny and pretty and I actually feel sorry for him. He isn’t a bad person, he’s just a lost soul and he won’t admit his problems which means he will never be fixed.



I’m happy because that is all my past.

I am better than drugs and if a guy can’t see that, then they don’t deserve a second of time or energy. I deserve to be happy. I’m not one of these people that believes the world owes me, I get up and go out and fight for what I want. 

I am happy. I pity the people of my past and I wish them a good life. I hope they wake up like I did and realise they have one shot at this life so grab it by two hands and run!

I don’t know if I’m acting like this because recently, I have met some really good people and it has restored my faith in the human race. Maybe I’m testing myself. I don’t know but what I do know is that I am worth more than my selfish, dirty, lying ex boyfriends and I WILL be the one who got away!



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I have battled with mental health and substance misuse for years and this blog is about my journey. I hope it makes you laugh, makes you cry but most of all inspires you to live the best life you can.

One thought on “The One That Got Away…”

  1. Hey stay strong, you are doing brilliantly. The longer we are off booze, the more clear past actions or memories become. I think you are very perceptive in understanding you are attracted to people you woukd like to “fix” – a very common issue with “us” I think. It would make your hair curl if I told you some of the horrors I tried to “fix” in my younger days!!! Just rise away from it, easier said than done, but you have already proved how strong & focussed you are. x


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