One of the biggest accomplishments I have achieved is accepting how I feel.
Have you ever felt angry and grabbed a bottle?
Ever been pissed off and ran for the cigarettes?
Had an argument with your partner and self harmed?
Had a shit last day at work and had a drug binge?
Short term fixes actually fix nothing.
For years, I would cope by using short term coping strategies and it never fixed anything.
The biggest accomplishment and sense of achievement is having a period of anxiety, depression, sadness, anger and doing simply nothing.
To feel anxious, starting to shake, sweating, freaking the hell out and then after a while feeling calm again is the best.
You may even shed a few tears but crying is better than cutting, smoking or any other short term relief.
Don’t get me wrong, there are times when I think “Fuck it” and want to have a cigarette or a night out of mind but there’s two ways I deal with this:
1/ Distraction. If I really can’t cope with processing the emotions properly at that time, I use a short term fix BUT a healthy one. I go to the gym. I write a blog. I paint my nails. I have a shower. I have a nap. I put on netflix and chill…
2/ Acceptance. Accept that feeling. Let it come. You are going to feel it sooner or later but what’s important is to remember to: Be rational. You are feeling angry and it’s ok to feel angry. Say it out loud. Shout it. You are entitled to feel however you feel. No matter how silly you feel for feeling like that. You feel angry because your car broke down. That’s why you feel angry, accept it. Why is it making you angry? Because you need to get to work and do the food shopping and now you cant. So whats the solution? Alcohol? Drugs? No. Get a bus, call a friend, walk. There are always solutions but they only come with a rational mind.
Just take a breath. In and out. In… Out…
Distract and don’t react.
Then accept and just be. Be rational.
The problems you have right now won’t be a problem in years to come. Just like the problems you used to stress over. Where are they now? Gone. You overcome them just like you can overcome the present stressful situations.
Lastly, there is nothing weak about feeling weak. Emotions are not controllable. Anger does not have to be a negative emotion. Neither does sadness. You need to accept that they are a part of who you are and let them come.
Sit on the riverbank and watch the emotions flow past, don’t struggle in the river and swim against the stream. You will only drown.