Just because you are a man does not mean you need to man up!

Mental health is not gender specific so I won’t ‘man up’ and you’re not a ‘pussy’!

Screen Shot 2017-05-10 at 22.25.37.png

It does not matter who you are, you can suffer with mental health issues.

Society tells us that in a nuclear family, the mother loves for her family and tends to them – the caring role. The father goes to work and is the boss of the family – the breadwinner.

It is like society expects too much of us.

It’s ok for women to be depressed, its probably her period. Women are emotionally anyway. She has no reason to be depressed, all she does is stay home.

Men shouldn’t be depressed, they should man up. Men don’t cry, don’t be ridiculous. He’s just stressed from work, that’s why he got angry.

Now whilst females now appear to have a voice and the feminist movement is mainly female despite promoting equality of the sexes, I feel that it’s about time that we fought a little more for our men. 


As a female, I can say there is nothing more attractive than a man who can admit and show their feelings. 

Women AND Men are allowed to cry.

Women AND Men are allowed to feel depressed.

Women AND Men are allowed to feel exactly the same!


Emotions are natural and we do not control them. We don’t choose to be sad or happy or angry. It just happens. So why is it so wrong for a women to lose her temper and scream and shout? Why is it so wrong for a man to just want to talk about his feelings?

The answer is nothing.

Did you know that women are more likely to become depressed than men. But in 2013, 78% of people that committed suicide were men. 



Maybe as women, we are encouraged to be more emotional and verbal about our problems or maybe we are just stuck in a stereotype.

When little boys cry because their friend took their toy, we give them a hug.


Why do those men feel the only way to escape their mental health is to end their lives?


I have been in the presence of male lovers, friends and family who have mental health problems and there is one common theme: DENIAL.

All their life they are told to be the man, be strong like daddy, be a soldier. To get over it. To fight.

Their role models were wrestlers, fireman, policeman, soldiers, boxers, footballers, rockstars, superheroes and a common theme is power and to an extent violence.

Women have had various role models throughout the years and due to feminism the rise of strong and diverse female role models are now becoming more socially acceptable.

But there are still guys who cringe at the word feminism and there are still not enough men who feel comfortable to accept how they feel and talk about it.

Men cry. Men feel heart break. Men grieve when a loved one passes away. Men feel disappointment. Men feel all the same ‘negative’ emotions as women but it appears they have never learnt how to process those emotions healthily.

So they deny these feelings and they deny that mental health exists and that they deny are struggling with it.


So just to let you know that just because you are male does not mean you can’t struggle with:

  • depression
  • anxiety
  • obsessive compulsive disorder
  • bipolar
  • borderline personality disorder
  • self harm
  • seasonal affective disorder
  • post traumatic stress
  • eating disorders
  • body dysmorphic disorder
  • panic attacks
  • paranoia
  • schizophrenia
  • suicide
  •  and anything else you can possibly think of!


I know that this blog is not going to save the world but I hope that a man comes across it and realises that it is okay to feel how you feel. Its okay to talk about it. Its okay to take medication. It is okay to struggle!

Society tells men to be strong and the strongest men will have struggled in their lives,  cried, faced their fears, battled and come out the other side still standing.

Because strength isn’t really the size of your muscles. It comes from inside.

Male or female, you can beat your mental health.


pinky swear x


Regardless of what gender you identify as, below are all the helplines recommended by the NHS if you are struggling with your mental health:

Anxiety UK

Charity providing support if you’ve been diagnosed with an anxiety condition.

Phone: 08444 775 774 (Mon-Fri, 9.30am-5.30pm)

Website: www.anxietyuk.org.uk

Bipolar UK

A charity helping people living with manic depression or bipolar disorder.

Website: www.bipolaruk.org.uk


CALM is the Campaign Against Living Miserably, for men aged 15-35.

Website: www.thecalmzone.net

Depression Alliance

Charity for sufferers of depression. Has a network of self-help groups.

Website: www.depressionalliance.org

Men’s Health Forum

24/7 stress support for men by text, chat and email.

Website: www.menshealthforum.org.uk

Mental Health Foundation

Provides information and support for anyone with mental health problems or learning disabilities.

Website: www.mentalhealth.org.uk


Promotes the views and needs of people with mental health problems.

Phone: 0300 123 3393 (Mon-Fri, 9am-6pm)

Website: www.mind.org.uk

No Panic

Voluntary charity offering support for sufferers of panic attacks and OCD. Offers a course to help overcome your phobia/OCD. Includes a helpline.

Phone: 0844 967 4848 (daily, 10am-10pm)

Website: www.nopanic.org.uk

OCD Action

Support for people with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). Includes information on treatment and online resources.

Phone: 0845 390 6232 (Mon-Fri, 9.30am-5pm)

Website: www.ocdaction.org.uk


A charity run by people with OCD, for people with OCD. Includes facts, news and treatments.

Phone: 0845 120 3778 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5pm)

Website: www.ocduk.org


Young suicide prevention society.

Phone: HOPElineUK 0800 068 4141 (Mon-Fri,10am-5pm & 7-10pm. Weekends 2-5pm)

Website: www.papyrus-uk.org

Rethink Mental Illness

Support and advice for people living with mental illness.

Phone: 0300 5000 927 (Mon-Fri, 9.30am-4pm)

Website: www.rethink.org


Confidential support for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair.

Phone: 116 123 (free 24-hour helpline)

Website: www.samaritans.org.uk


Charity offering support and carrying out research into mental illness.

Phone: 0845 767 8000 (daily, 6-11pm)

SANEmail email: sanemail@org.uk

Website: www.sane.org.uk


Information on child and adolescent mental health. Services for parents and professionals.

Phone: Parents’ helpline 0808 802 5544 (Mon-Fri, 9.30am-4pm)

Website: www.youngminds.org.uk

Other sources of support

Abuse (child, sexual, domestic violence)
Addiction (drugs, alcohol, gambling)
Crime victims
Eating disorders
Learning disabilities

Abuse (child, sexual, domestic violence)


Children’s charity dedicated to ending child abuse and child cruelty.

Phone: 0800 1111 for Childline for children (24-hour helpline)

0808 800 5000 for adults concerned about a child (24-hour helpline)

Website: www.nspcc.org.uk


Advice on dealing with domestic violence.

Phone: 0808 2000 247 (24-hour helpline)

Website: www.refuge.org.uk

Addiction (drugs, alcohol, gambling)

Alcoholics Anonymous

Phone: 0845 769 7555 (24-hour helpline)

Website: www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk

Gamblers Anonymous

Website: www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk

Narcotics Anonymous

Phone: 0300 999 1212 (daily until midnight)

Website: www.ukna.org


Alzheimer’s Society

Provides information on dementia, including factsheets and helplines.

Phone: 0300 222 1122 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5pm. Weekends, 10am-4pm)

Website: www.alzheimers.org.uk


Cruse Bereavement Care

Phone: 0844 477 9400 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5pm)

Website: www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk

Crime victims

Rape Crisis

To find your local services phone: 0808 802 9999 (daily, 12-2.30pm, 7-9.30pm)

Website: www.rapecrisis.org.uk

Victim Support

Phone: 0808 168 9111 (Mon-Fri, 8pm-8am. Weekends, Sat 5pm-Mon 8am)

Website: www.victimsupport.org

Eating disorders


Phone: 0845 634 1414 (adults) or 0345 634 7650 (for under-25s)

Website: www.b-eat.co.uk

Learning disabilities


Charity working with people with a learning disability, their families and carers.

Phone: 0808 808 1111 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5pm)

Website: www.mencap.org.uk


Family Lives

Advice on all aspects of parenting including dealing with bullying.

Phone: 0808 800 2222 (Mon-Fri, 9am-9pm. Sat-Sun, 10am-3pm)

Website: www.familylives.org.uk



Phone: 0300 100 1234 (for information on their services)

Website: www.relate.org.uk




Published by


I have battled with mental health and substance misuse for years and this blog is about my journey. I hope it makes you laugh, makes you cry but most of all inspires you to live the best life you can 🦋

One thought on “Just because you are a man does not mean you need to man up!”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s