Despite what you think, I am fucking fabulous.

Excuse my french. Kind of.

With the pressure of studying and essays, the torture of my mental health and the new journey I am on; sometimes, I feel like crap.

Sometimes I feel like I am strong and I am proud of who I am and other days, I feel like maybe I should just go and get drunk, wasted, not caring. If I did that maybe I’d have more friends. If I didn’t care about myself that much, maybe I’d enjoy life more.

But then I realised I would be settling for less and that is something I will never do.

Just become I am sad sometimes doesn’t mean that I am not strong. Just because I am lazy sometimes doesn’t mean I am not determined. And just because sometimes I want to do nothing, build a den and pretend other people doesn’t exist does not mean that I am not an independent, driven, hardworking person who wants to get the most out of this wonderful world we live in.

I’m not perfect but I don’t want to be.

I wake up in the morning and get up because I want to have a productive day and enjoy it and that makes me feel good.

I eat healthy food because I like the taste and it makes me feel good.

I exercise when I get the chance because I am good at it and it makes me feel good.

I don’t drink alcohol because I am a better person without it and being sober makes me feel good. 

I have really good friends but only an amount that I can count on one hand and thats because I choose quality, not quantity and that makes me feel good. 

I have a job because I like the independence of earning and the pride of a job well done and that makes me feel good.

I am single because I want to be and when I look at the list above, I realise I am worthy of a healthy loving relationship.

AND THIS MAKES ME FEEL GOOD.

I woke up today tired and irritable. I was feeling low and I didn’t know what to do with myself. I dragged myself out of bed, had a shower, put my big girl panties on and chose my attitude.

If only every day was as easy as this.

But sometimes, when you feel isolated, depressed with no energy only you can remind youself of how fucking fabulous you are!

and here I am. Happy, loved and crazy. Living life to the full and I am going to continue to live this way.

 

 

 

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