Depression is the worst pet to have.

Depression and anxiety can be soul destroying and mind boggling.

When life is going great, depression and anxiety pop back up to remind me that they’re still there.

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My life is good. I have achieved so much, I have good friends and loving boyfriend. I have a big family network. I am working towards going to Uni next September. Life is going the way I want it too.

But I’m not happy? Why? I don’t know.

I should thank my blessings that after problems that have occurred in my life, I have over come them and I am on to bigger and better things.

But I’m still down. I’m still worrying over ridiculous things. I’m feeling insecure and down all of a sudden.

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And this is what people don’t understand. Heck, I don’t understand it either but why do people need to understand? When I say to people that I am feeling low or sad or whatever, why do I need to justify my feelings?

I don’t have a solid explanation for why I feel like this. There has been little things that have stressed me out a little lately but I can’t seem to shake this feeling of despair and doom.

 

I find myself staring at the TV or my laptop and not paying attention. I’m constantly scrolling through social media like I’m looking for something but I don’t know what I’m actually looking for. I become withdrawn.

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Sometimes, I like to think I will come off my anti-depressants soon and then this happens which is even more frustrating.

I know that there are others out there who feel exactly how I do but how do you contact them. How do you communicate about these things? I am all about talking therapy but when I talk to my friends or family, I get worried that they will soon get fed up of me. I don’t want to be labeled an attention seeker because I’m not and the just begins a vicious circle because then I feel more alone and depressed and my anxiety grows.

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As well as this, how can I tell people how I’m feeling when there really isn’t  a reason for it. 

Confusing?

Tell me about it.

So, I’m hoping that tonight, I will fall asleep and wake up and I will be happy.

Fingers crossed.

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4 comments

  1. pickledsparklymooseprincess · October 18, 2015

    We all wish we could sleep away our problems but ultimately they are always there staring us in the face when we wake up. Have you looked into group therapy or private sessions as it sounds like you need someone to talk to.

    Like

    • dreambelievefightachieve · October 18, 2015

      I’ve had cognitive behaviour therapy and I don’t feel any further therapy will help. I just go through these phases and it’s just annoying because there’s no real reason for it but thank you x

      Liked by 1 person

      • pickledsparklymooseprincess · October 18, 2015

        Aww,ok. I understand that state. Even once you’ve worked through the core issues and sorted some coping strategies, life is going swimmingly but sometimes seemingly miscellaneous melancholy just hangs around. The thing is though, I dont think it ever is miscellany really, there’s probably something deep down bothering you/me/ others who feel like that. Once I figure out how to access that secret headspace I’ll let everyone know!

        Like

      • dreambelievefightachieve · October 18, 2015

        I know you’re right! It’s just frustrating because even if I’ve voiced what’s wrong, it doesn’t necessarily mean my problems are solved even if it’s something stupid like waiting for a phone call. It’s silly how it can consume you all of a sudden. Little things done bother me and then they suddenly become big things haha. I never give up though. I’m just exhausted from being exhausted!

        Like

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