Bittersweet memories

Some people complain that the sentiment of photos are lost in today’s society because we capture everything; important or irrelevant.

and it’s true.

I have just been looking through old photos on my mac and I had screenshot so much rubbish. Although, somethings were worth a screenshot.

I came across a screenshot on a message between my ex and a girl whilst I was still with him…

Wow, who knew a picture could bring back such horrible feelings. I felt sick. Really sick. I felt like uploading the screenshot to this blog post but I am really hoping my ex has changed and it wouldn’t be fair to disclose him name.

The screenshot consisted of my ex trying to persuade this girl to go to the beach then this girl referred to me as his ‘bird’ and wouldn’t I be mad? WELL OF COURSE YOU DUMB GIRL, HAVE SOME SELF RESPECT. Then my ex proceeded to say he would take her on a date and “when I am single I will take you on dates and you’ll love it”.

To be honest, I don’t know what made me feel worse. The fact he was talking to a girl behind my back, the fact he was talking to someone so illiterate and easily bought or the fact he was planning to be single again and take her on a date. The stupid thing is when things like that happen we question what is wrong with ourselves. THE ANSWER IS NOTHING. THEY ARE THE PROBLEM!

Regardless of what I felt, it happened and thank god it did.

It was the final push for me. It gave me what I needed to finally put a stop to a destructive relationship. I left him and left the world he took me too.

I made new friends. I started college. I went travelling. I fell in love again.

And here I am. My drinking is under control, I am at the gym regularly, I’m still committed to work, I volunteer, I start University in September, I have really great friends and family and to top it off, I have a real strong loving honest relationship with someone I am completely in love with.

So, I felt sick seeing that picture. I stared at it for longer than I should of but really, it’s just a reminder of how far I have come. 

Bittersweet really.



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I have battled with mental health and substance misuse for years and this blog is about my journey. I hope it makes you laugh, makes you cry but most of all inspires you to live the best life you can 🦋

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