No, fuck you. I was worth it…

*Inspired by an instagram post I saw earlier

“No, fuck you. I was worth it”

To the kids at primary school who laughed because I had hairy arms, who pushed me against walls and kicked me, who stole from me, who made up rumours about me, who isolated me. Fuck you. I was worth it.

To my peers at secondary school who called me names, laughed at my braces, my nose, my clothes, my make up. Who made Facebook pages about me. Who isolated me and bullied me. Who encouraged me to hate myself when I was suffering mentally. Who told me to kill myself. Who thought they were really cool for being absolute arseholes to me. Fuck you. I was worth it.

To the boyfriends who made me cry, used me, lied to me, led me on, cheated on me, mentally abused me. Who made a fool out of me, who would rather be a coward than be brave and honest, who chose drugs over me, who told me to settle, who wanted a basic life and made me feel “too much” because I didn’t want to settle. Fuck you. I was worth it.

To the friends who showed their true colours, who stole from me, used me, hurt me, betrayed me, lied to me and laughed behind my back. Who made me feel isolated because I didn’t want their lifestyle, who pushed drugs and alcohol in my face when I was struggling, who knew I was depressed and left me to cry. Fuck you. I was worth it.

To anyone who has made me cry, who made me feel bad as an individual for no good reason, who started a rumour about me, who told me I couldn’t succeed in any of my dreams and goals, who called me a failure. Fuck you. I was worth it.

I was worth it. I have always been worth it and I still am.

I’d like to sit here and say “I hope one day you realise what you’ve lost” but in all honesty, I really couldn’t care less. I know what you’ve lost and that sucks for you.

I am an honest and loyal person, friend, girlfriend, daughter, granddaughter, cousin, niece, colleague, student. Whatever. I never aim to go out of my way to hurt anyone and if I have ever hurt you, I am truly sorry. It was never intentional.

But for all the shit that I had to endure because of all of you… thank you.

Thank you for teaching me that I am worth more than what you offered to me, that I will continue to achieve great things, that I will continue to have good, decent people in my life, that I can be happy without your negativity.

Because I don’t hate you. I also don’t like you but thank you for being a lesson well learnt.

Because now I know what I want and what I deserve and I am moving on to better things.

Thanks bitches. I am worth it.

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dreambelievefightachieve

I have battled with mental health and substance misuse for years and this blog is about my journey. I hope it makes you laugh, makes you cry but most of all inspires you to live the best life you can 🦋

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