YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY
This has got to be my best achievement so far.
I honestly couldn’t be happier.
My hypnotherapist said “You’ve changed your world, you’ve broken away from your bubble. That is something to be proud of”.
Hand on heart, I never thought that I would have to stop drinking but also, I never believed I would stay sober.
I know it’s only been a month but there’s not an inch of me craving a drop of alcohol.
So, in the last month I have…
Okay, so I was never fat. I go to the gym and I really love exercise, even more now I have stopped drinking. Over Christmas, in the first 2 weeks of being alcohol free, I lost 7 pounds. I hadn’t changed my diet, in fact I was eating more rubbish than usual. I just stopped binge drinking. This made me realise the serious health affects from alcohol.
Started to look alive again
My skin is soft and spot free again. My sensitive skin has calmed down. My breath doesn’t smell disgusting. I’m not as sweaty. I don’t have black bags under my eyes. My eyes look white, not dull and dead. I look alive.
Not been ill
I have the worst immune system and working in a day care full of germs makes things very difficult for me. However, I have not been ill once. I’ve not laid in bed feeling run down, my allergies have calmed down too. This has made everything so much easier and I feel good and ready to go.
I wake up every morning feeling refreshed, like I have had a decent nights sleep. My sleeping pattern is still a little odd but when I get up, I don’t hesitate over plans, I just do them. This is mainly because I have the energy and why would I want to waste a day?
Finished an essay
This would never of happened. Ever. Throughout college I really slacked and just went out drinking. It just seemed the norma thing to do. Since doing my evening classes and stopping drinking, I am more alert. I sat down and wrote my essay in a day. I had to write a little more a week later but this still would never of happened. The sad thing is, I probably would of made excuses as to why I hadn’t done it instead of admitting that I was feeling crap and slept all day due to my alcohol consumption.
Gone out sober
Not gonna lie, this was eye opening… and hilarious. Jesus girls, we can be such tramps and guys… wow. Talk about beer goggles! I am nuts anyway and I don’t need alcohol to have fun.
So I had a big shock this month when I checked my bank balance and realised I actually had money. I had to pay off some loans and bills and this normally left me with nothing after I’d gone out drinking but I have money! This made me realise how much more control I have.
Met some inspirational people
Starting this blog, I have read some inspirational and heart breaking things and it has really been a lifeline. I have also had people that I work with, that are family friends, relatives, strangers open up to me and admit they’ve been through this too. This really made me feel confident that I can do this and for once, I didn’t feel isolated and alone.
Met some real people
I had forgotten how nice it is to have a conversation with someone. Drunk Kelly could give a lot of banter and would speak her mind a little too much. She’d say things she really should never say. I have met some really interesting people and it has restored my faith in the human race. In fact, I have met a guy who has restored my faith in men. JESUS CHRIST I NEVER THOUGHT ID SAY THAT EVER. Then again, I never thought I would say I met a guy sober. It’s nice for someone to meet the real me and like the real me. No mask. No putting up a front. Just me.
Taken positive risks
I have gone out of my comfort zone a little. I have signed up for a bootcamp at the gym which starts on Sunday. I would never of had the energy for that. I am also training to do Tough Mudder this year and I want to do a charity run as well. I want to push myself positively. Not by drinking to see how much I can take. No, I don’t want to be wild like that anymore.
Okay, so I said I have saved money which I have but I have also spent money. I have something to show for my what I have earned. I bought some new clothes which I actually love. I have also bought some new gym clothing as well as a workout mat and resistance bands. I have paid for a tattoo removal (long story haha blame the alcohol). I have paid for hypnotherapy. I have paid for bootcamp at the gym and I still have money in my account!
Experienced sober fun
I’ve been out to pubs and clubs sober and that was pretty hilarious. I could easily go out sober again. I have been out for a meal, to the cinema, bowling, the aquarium, the gym and lots more. This really makes me happy. I am not wasting another moment of this precious life. It is far too exciting.
Understood what it feels like to be happy for more than five minutes
Just look at the positives. I could sit here for hours writing about how great this month has been. I really am happy. For years, I have suffered with depression and anxiety and sobriety has definitely made me more of a fighter. I haven’t had nightmares in ages. I haven’t had a bad thought in a long time. I just keep reminding myself how far I have come, not just in sobriety but in life. All the battles that I have fought and I have won. Warrior and Winner.
I am a 21 year old female who has had constant battles from depression to anxiety to addiction. I don’t doubt that I will have more challenges to face and wars to win but I am a warrior and I will never give up.
I will end this post with a high five to myself and a big thank you to everyone who has supported me, stuck by me and believed in me. I love you all.
Now, over to Emma Watson…