I returned to the depths of hell… sober

In the town I live in, there is a well known “night club” called Emmas.

It’s basically a bad school disco and it can only be a laugh if you are ridiculously drunk. Wetherspoons is a few shops up from Emmas so basically the plan is; Pre drink, Spoons til you’re pretty wasted and then Emmas “nightclub”. I rarely see them turn people away because it only is bearable if you are very intoxicated.

If this still looks like a good night out to you then imagine

Imagine a box room. Some tragic coloured lights. A really wet and sticky floor. A small bar with over-priced drinks. Cougars wearing next to nothing grinding on each other. Then in come the Matlows. Then it becomes, as my friend Alex calls it, a “Cock Fest” where there’s 80% male and 20% females. You get the regular old bald men sitting in the corner watching the young girls bump and grind. As usual, you get the easy girls who just want male attention who like to eat peoples faces.

As I said, this is bearable when you have had countless shots as well as mixers.

Well I hadn’t had this much alcohol. In fact, I had no alcohol at all. Just red bull. A LOT OF RED BULL.

Okay, so maybe the red bull wasn’t a good idea. I had regular comedowns off the caffeine and I eventually crashed out for nearly 12 hours when I got into bed!

It was nice to see my friend Alex and I was grateful that she was being sober that night with me. True friendship. We always said when i stopped drinking that we would go to Emmas sober just for a laugh and to be honest, it was pretty funny.

alex1 alex2

I saw the world through different eyes. I’ve already seen unattractive drunk girls but this was still as shocking. I’m embarrassed that I probably looked like those I saw that night.

Also, I felt like I was better than that place. It’s not that I’m big headed but where I wasn’t drunk and acting like those around me, I wasn’t being gobby or loud, I wasn’t falling over the place. I was poised and composed and I was being myself. I felt out of place but clearly, thats a good thing. I don’t want to fit in to a place like that.

My life really is different now. I was starting to feel rubbish about my sobriety but going to Emmas sober has restored my faith in my decision. I did make the right idea and I’m going to continue to be sober until I feel comfortable and confident enough to have a drink but I don’t see that happening in the next few months.

Happy Sunday everyone, have a good week!


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I have battled with mental health and substance misuse for years and this blog is about my journey. I hope it makes you laugh, makes you cry but most of all inspires you to live the best life you can 🦋

3 thoughts on “I returned to the depths of hell… sober”

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