I’ve forgotten.

After writing a blog post yesterday for the first time in ages, I decided to read through my old blog posts and wow.

I’ve realised that I really have forgotten what it feels like to be intoxicated.

I can’t remember the feeling of tipsiness after a couple of drinks. I can’t remember the physical sensation. It’s so strange. I also can’t remember what a hangover feels like. I mean I guess this is a blessing.

All I remember is my behaviour and how I felt mentally but even then, after reading my old blog posts, it broke my heart to read “I honestly believe if I do not stop drinking that I will cause serious harm to myself and/or to others… I honestly think I will end up dead.”

I remember feeling like this. I felt like this for years. Constantly suffering with the darkest thoughts and harming myself in various ways including substances.

I never ever thought that becoming sober would change as much as it has. Hand on my heart, I can honestly say I am happy. I am in control of who I am and I love my life.

I have only been sober for 1 year 5 months and I can’t believe how different everything is now. Every aspect of my life has changed for the better.

When I talk about my past and my behaviours, the people who never knew that Kelly find it hard to believe that I am talking about myself. I also find it hard to believe that I am talking about myself.

I love reflecting and I think it is super important to stay humble. Sobriety is the best choice I ever made.