Stop playing the victim.

This world is not perfect. There is so much hate, racism, sexism, discrimination and the list goes on.

But this world is also beautiful. There is so much love, compassion, determination and positivity.

It all depends on your outlook. I truly believe there are two types of people in this world.

The type of people who think the world owes them everything…

and the type of people who thinks the world owes them nothing…

You can be who you want to be. There will always be people telling you “no” or discriminating against you for whatever reason but it’s how you deal with it that tells you what type of person you are.

I am a massive advocate for “the world is your oyster”. Particularly for those from a first world country.

We have access to education, to travel, to change careers at any time of our lives. We have freedom to be gay, trans, gender fluid, atheist, religious, you name it.

So when I see people playing the victim, I get pretty frustrated. Not because it’s annoying but because you are the only person holding yourself back.

I look back through all the struggles I have been through and I could of easily opted for a life of drugs, alcohol and even suicide. I could of bummed off my parents and the government. I could of wallowed in self pity because of all the wrong-doings in my life.

But the difference is… I did the opposite of those things.

I fought all my battles and I lost many of them but I never gave up.

I was once told to settle for less. “You are not a princess, this is Gosport, stop expecting so much”. I could of just listened to that advice and been miserable, wallowing in my mistakes and holding on to all the shit people have done to me…

BUT I DIDN’T.

I left behind people who dragged me down and I quit negative actions that were ruining my life. 

I started to do things that I enjoyed and simply because I enjoyed them. I surrounded myself with people I liked for positive reasons because they were good and decent people. I sat and pondered on what I could do with my life and I made it happen. 

I changed what made me miserable.

I started looking at myself differently. I admired myself for removing all the negativity from my life. I admired myself for making decisions that were incredibly hard but positively life changing.

And from admiration of myself, I found confidence. I am more confident in my body. If I don’t like my body, I can change it. That’s not an issue because I am determined to be the happiest version of myself. However, I have learnt and I am still learning to love my body. It’s mine and it’s who I am.

I am more confident in my life choices. I know who I am as a person and any decision I make, good or bad, is mine and I can own that.

I am confident with my personality. This is me. For years, I have suffered verbal abuse and the worst thing I did was listen to it. The only opinion of myself that I value is my own.

I truly believe that, whilst lots of people love you and care for you, the only person who will only ever be there for you is yourself.

Society made me feel selfish for a long time for accepting compliments, for feeling good about myself and for loving myself.

But fuck it, I do.

I am not selfish and I am not stuck up. I appreciate this life and I know my self-worth.

So when I feel sorry for myself and I know that playing the victim is a realllllly easy option, I say no. I could resort back to the past and make all the abuse I suffered who I am but that will only ever make me miserable.

Stop playing the victim.

I am not discrediting any victim of abuse or ‘ism’ but it is how to react to the negativity that creates your next move. It is how you think of yourself that predicts your reaction.

Love who you are. Own it. Shrug off all the negative comments. Let go of all your mistakes and hold your middle finger high to all those who hurt you in the past.

You are in control of your own life.

and in the words of Kesha… “I’m proud of who I am!”