My New Years resolution is to be dating app free and here’s why…

For the last year or so, I’ve been on and off dating apps. Tinder, bumble, happen. I’ve tried them all.

I’d go through phases of full on dating to swiping on the toilet out of boredom.

So, my New Years resolution for 2019 is: NO DATING APPS.

Here’s why…

Whilst I have been single for a while now, I don’t feel like I’ve really been single. I’ve been “looking”. And we all know that when we look for love, we rarely find it. Or if we do, it might not be the love we are looking for.

So firstly, I want to be single the right way. The real way.

Secondly, I don’t like all this online dating malarkey. Don’t get me wrong, it’s quick and easy but it’s dehumanising. Judging people on their bio. If you think about it, people are selling their best selves. What about the other sides to people? Would you swipe right on a guy who said “has struggled with mental health but is coming through the other side”. No because that’s not what you want in your “dream man”. Most people want the perfect finished product. And this itself is sad.

It’s also not realistic to judge someone by how they sell themselves. On this note, no one is every going to honestly say who they are on a dating app. They’re more likely going to say what they think you want to hear.

Also, on the topic of judging, I am yet to meet a guy who looks just like his tinder pictures. I think it’s safe to say that guys typically like to pose with an animal and/or a baby to show their emotional side, their friends to show they have some and a traveling/festival picture to show they leave the house. Similar to girls who use endless snapchat filters. Come on girls, post the bed head photos. That’s the real you. WE WANNA SEE THE REAL YOU’S!

My fourth point, communicating via dating apps is not how most people communicate in real life. Ever met up with a tinder date and it’s been super awkward? No conversation flow? Yet on message it was great. The internet gives us time to think about our reply, to be smart and flirty. Real life allows us to be ourselves! Also… I really doubt a guy would come up to me in real life asking me for nudes.

Lastly, I have been using these apps for a little bit of attention. Sad but true. When all my friends have boyfriends or are going on dates and I want to remind myself I’ve still got it, I’ll download a dating app. The compliments or even a simple match is a confidence boost. But hell, it’s a short term confidence boost and I’d rather just get back to loving myself for real with NO distractions.

I’m totally not slating these apps. They’re great for some people. Especially people who have little time to socialise or just struggle with it. But they’re just not for me.

So, for now, goodbye online dating. Swiping left now.

The dreaded question… “Are you single?”

Why do we feel the need to be in a relationship?

What is so wrong with being single?

I go through phases where I love being single,

and then I get asked “Do you want a boyfriend?” or “Why are you single?”… like there is something wrong with me.

Why is it when we’re single, we are made to feel like some sort of outcast. You’re what? Single? What is wrong with her?

How about maybe I want to be single? Or how about maybe I don’t want to be single and you’ve just reminded me that society thinks I’m a reject.

HOW ABOUT YOU MIND YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS.

There are so many things I love about being single. I love my own space and being able to make mess and lounge around in absolutely nothing.

and then I feel like I do want a relationship. That I have so much love to give to someone else.

But regardless of what I want, stop giving me your opinion as to why I’m single and whether I should be in a relationship or not.